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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23839819">there's strength in weakness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipp_splapl/pseuds/bipp_splapl'>bipp_splapl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>to reckon [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Violence, Dead People, Gen, Gender Identity, Injury, Murder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers, sayaka is there but not really</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:07:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23839819</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipp_splapl/pseuds/bipp_splapl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>facing your murderer is tough! this is not a scenario fujisaki chihiro was prepared for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fujisaki Chihiro &amp; Kuwata Leon, Fujisaki Chihiro &amp; Kuwata Leon &amp; Oowada Mondo, Fujisaki Chihiro &amp; Owada Mondo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>to reckon [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715428</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>there's strength in weakness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fujisaki Chihiro arrived in the afterlife much the same way as Mondo and the three that came before. He awoke on the ground, very much disorientated, with Leon Kuwata hovering way too close. He had a splitting headache and the feeling of something goopy dripping down his head. He still had the headache, but by now, he had wrapped some gauzy around his wounds, and the ectoplasm had stopped. </p><p>Chihiro wasn’t sure if the headache would ever go away, really. The pressure helped. He was glad for the bandages. </p><p>Surprisingly, (or, unsurprising to some,) he took the news much better than Mondo. Chihiro had always been an open-minded individual, always excited to learn. It made sense, really, that existence didn’t just cease following one’s expiration. Frankly, the knowledge of an afterlife helped wrap up any lingering questions in his mind, closed a chapter on the previous world, and opened up something new to explore.</p><p>This time, Chihiro decided, he would do things right. </p><p>“I-I’m afraid I have not been the most honest with you two,” Chihiro said, kicking his feet in the dirt. Was this dirt? Astrally projected dirt? <em> ....not the right question, not the right question-  </em></p><p>“You see,” Chihiro said, bringing a finger up to his lips and giving a small pout. “I lied to you. I am actually a boy. I-I’m sorry…”</p><p>Much to Chihiro’s surprise, it was Leon who accepted the news with a slightly-less-toothy smile. “I’m happy you trust us, bud,” Leon said with a friendly clap on the back. “It’s a relief, really, I was getting sick of all the estrogen.” </p><p>A pause. “H-Hey, I’m sorry if I said anything weird to you before!” Leon quickly removed his hands from Chihiro and took a step backward, giving the kid some space. “I mean, I like both dudes and chicks, but I also hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable if I treated you differently because I thought you were a girl...”</p><p>“Did you flirt with Fujisaki-ch…<em> kun? </em>” Sayaka asked, pausing to quickly adjust herself, and then giving Leon a quick scowl as a way to emphasize her question. </p><p>“Not any more than he flirts with everyone else,” Chihiro answered for him, to which Leon let out a sigh of relief. “And don’t worry about it, I...I really want to t-try and leave the past in the past.”</p><p>“That’s a very healthy way of thinking, Fujisaki-kun!” Sayaka’s smile was more genuine than the one at Hope’s Peak. It was nice seeing her let her guard down. Seeing how happy and carefree she seemed...it affirmed his decision to do the same. </p><p>“I just wanted to….” his voice wandering off, hands pulling at his skirt. No. Not his skirt anymore. “Do I have to keep wearing this?”</p><p>Sayaka giggled. “Not if you don’t want to."</p><p>“No!” Chihiro’s eyes met Sayaka’s, full of a resolve she had not seen in Hope’s Peak. “I-I mean this outfit. Are we stuck to the same clothes as what we wore i-in our lives?”</p><p>The sound of leather rubbing together pulled his attention. Chihiro turned towards Leon, who was shifting his weight from his front foot to his back. “I decided to lose the skull shirt because, I dunno, felt a little too...topical. Switched it out for some Sex Pistols merch ‘nd ripped the sleeves off, no biggie.”</p><p>“And I decided to change into something flowier, it felt more fitting.” The new skirt was flowy. It was the kind of thing Chihiro always had pinned on his fan wishlists, but never really saw himself wearing. </p><p>“I see. So-” It was time. Time to lose the frock and the cardigan and especially the skirt, no more skirt. “Would you guys be too weirded out if I decided to start wearing shorts? I-I really want to be true to me. I want to get things right. Because! ...b-becau-”</p><p>“It’s your body, squirt,” Leon shrugged. “We ain’t gonna stop ya.”</p><p>So it’s settled. It is time to put on some shorts. </p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Nothing had prepared him for this moment. Rationally, Chihiro understood that his…..well, Chihiro wasn’t sure what to consider Mondo, right now. His killer? His friend? A person he trusts? A person who let him down?<em>  Mondo is easier, stick with Mondo.  </em> CHIHIRO understood his…  <em> Mondo </em> was going to join the land of the dead. </p><p>Well. There was always the possibility he would get away with it, and instead of one friend joining them, it would be ten. And for a while there during the trial, it looked like a real possibility, given how Byakuya mutilated a child’s dead body. But deep down, he knew Mondo would never let their friends die for his sake. Not like Byakuya, he would throw anyone under the bus. But Mondo is better than that. H-he might have made a mistake, but he’s better than that.</p><p>He has to be.</p><p>But since his arrival, a lot of progress had been made. For example - Chihiro was using his preferred pronouns! Which, while a little odd, felt all warm and fuzzy on the inside. And he changed his clothes! Instead of the frock, Chihiro had chosen a pair of khaki shorts and a dark green pullover for his collared shirt. Nothing too drastic - he may have been crossdressing, but the choices always matched his personality. But this time, it matched his whole personality.</p><p>Oh, and Chihiro tousled his hair up some, too. No more slick, styled hair. Tousled.</p><p>And yet, he couldn’t help but quiver a little when he saw his...friend. Yes, friend, Mondo is his friend, a friend who hurt him and did an awful thing, but is still a friend. That’s just how it is. The internal monologue did not cease the butterflies. Hands instinctively went to pull at fabric, and <em> ah, that’s the thing about not having a skirt anymore, there’s nothing to pull. </em> Hands still fidgety, Chihiro opted to tug at his sweater instead. </p><p>Even when they were classmates, Mondo scared him, just a little. How could he not? It wasn’t the hair or the muscles or the bosozoku <em> everything </em> (and all those things were scary, too) but just the presence. Power. Without even realizing it, his presence demanded attention (or maybe he did, and he liked it, and that’s a scary thought.) But now, he was kneeling on the ground before him, head bowed, and a shiver ran through Chihiro’s body. </p><p>He wasn’t ready to face his murderer, but he had to. He had to be strong. </p><p>Unsure what to do with his hands, Chihiro did the first thing that came to mind: pat Mondo on the pompadour, much as a young child might pat a cat. It was a...gesture. A comforting gesture? No. An <em> attempt  </em>at a comforting gesture. A small jolt ran through his hand the moment it made contact. Not enough to hurt - he was still too sore to really care. </p><p>Despite the awkwardness of the situation, something must have struck a chord with the biker, as Chihiro heard sniffles coming from the biker. An encouraging sign, he gently placed his hand on the hair and kept it there, gently rubbing despite the sparks. He heard a whimper. </p><p>Leon and Sayaka stood watching to the side, unsure how to feel. It was quite an odd sight, really. Their murder case, while baffling to everyone else, it made sense to the two of them. It was just a misunderstanding, after all. Despite no ill will, it still took a week of reconciliation before things felt doable. And here they watched Chihiro pat the man who bludgeoned him to death in a fit of rage. Mondo was crying. Chihiro, it seemed, wasn’t too far behind. </p><p>The whole thing felt like intruding upon a moment the two really shouldn’t be involved in. One nudged the other’s side, and together they attempted a quiet departure. Not without catching the Ultimate Programmer’s attention. </p><p>“W-wait!” Chihiro called, moving his hand away to reach out towards the pair. “Please don’t go!”</p><p><em> ‘I don’t feel safe </em>’ was left unsaid, but the four of them understood the implication. </p><p>“Well…” His hands were fighting with the sweater again, tugging at it slightly. Yes, this will do. Who needs a skirt when you have a sweater. “Maizono-chan, y-you’re welcome to leave if you’d like, but…” </p><p>Hazel eyes met with blue. All Chihiro could do was weakly smile. He didn’t want to ask Leon to stay. He didn’t want to admit he felt unsafe. He didn’t want to admit he was scared. Scared of being alone with Mondo. Alone with a friend. He didn’t want to admit he was still weak, which is the whole reason he’s even in this mess in the first place, and he clenched his eyes shut because they were welling up and that’s weak, he’s weak, he’s so wea-</p><p>Something ruffling his hair broke him out of the downward spiral. “I’ll go sit on the bench over there.” A smile cracked Chihiro’s lips, a genuine smile. “Holler if you need anything, squirt.”</p><p>It felt so...lovely to have someone reach out to help. Without even being asked, Leon did what he needed. Maybe without Chihiro, even knowing what he needed. No one had ever stuck out their neck for him before, it felt so…</p><p>With a newfound sense of empowerment, Chihiro gave himself a single nod of determination. <em> Okay!. I can do this. I can do this because Leon knows I can do this, and he’ll be by my side if I can’t.  </em></p><p>“Oowata-kun, I-”</p><p>“...<em> please… </em> ” a voice cut him off, one typically so rough and full of life, but now just sounded...empty. “. <em> ..you can use Mondo again, it’s okay. </em>”</p><p>There was a moment of heavy silence, with only breathing filling the space. Right. Strong. Be strong. Even if you sound a little weak, you can be strong. </p><p>There’s strength in weakness.</p><p>“I’m sorry…” Chihiro folded his hands by instinct. His resting position used to make him feel too girly, too feminine, too weak. But now, it just felt comfortable. Which is what he needs. “But I can’t do that. N-not right now, at least. I...it will take tim-”</p><p>An audible sob cut off wherever that sentence was going. It wasn’t going anywhere, really, so that’s okay, he supposed. The sudden sound made Chihiro jump back a little, startled by the outburst. But now Mondo was fully bowing on the ground, his body quivering. His pompadour was shaking, too. Which was kind of endearing? It would make Chihiro giggle, any other time.</p><p>“<em> ....what can I do to make this right?”  </em> His statement was only met with shuffling. </p><p>Mondo didn’t dare look up. He couldn’t. How could he, how could he ever look at Chihiro after what he did? Looking up meant facing the reality of his actions. Maybe his punishment was harsh, but at the same time, never harsh enough. Not for him, not for someone who can kill twice. Thousand times over and it would never be enough. </p><p>A thousand bright lights spinning, oh god the lights, <em> phosphene phosphene </em>-</p><p>Smaller hands carefully wrapped around his fist. Not a hug. Not a pat on the back. But he couldn’t expect that right now. He couldn’t expect anything, never again. Things would be at Chihiro’s pace. Mondo would take what he could get.</p><p>“T-thank you,” Chihiro mumbled, his hand giving a small squeeze. “For trying to keep my secret. I-I’m sorry, Togami ruined everything…”</p><p>All the while, Kuwata Leon kept his promise and carefully watched from a distance. <em> God, I’m lucky not to go through that,  </em> he thought, picking at something in his ear.  <em> Talk about hell and back again </em>. He’d amassed a small pile of rocks in case he had to yoink one at Mondo, but he didn’t plan on using them. Leon knew things wouldn’t go south. Not after all this. Takes a real pounding to get something through that thickass skull. </p><p>Never meant it literally, though.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>question: thoughts on incorporating daiya into this? not as a regular, but i think it would be important to have around, at leat a few times. idk how id get him in there tbh. rn my thought is that, you can pretty much travel or visit anywhere in the afterlife, and daiya is mostly vibing with the other crazy diamonds bc uh Tragedy. but he rides over to ghost town hopes peak when he hears what happens. so he might drop in back and forth.</p><p>lol idk take the angst take it take it but also,,,,,it makes me happy that chihiro can finally embrace his true gender identity. baby boy deserves it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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